2016 Morale Patch
Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2016 5:48 pm
Hey, comrade Commissar, I've been meaning to talk to you! I've noticed a batch of those "biohazard" crates came in yesterday. I don't suppose the Party preparing a morale-patch related surprise for the winter holidays?
Of course not, comrade. "The winter holidays" are nothing but a consumerist ploy to drag people's attention away from the glory that is our Agrarian Utopia. Suggesting anything else would be counterrevolutionary talk!
Uh... of course, comrade Commissar. That's what I meant to say.
Exactly. On an entirely unrelated note: The Party has been hard at work preparing a special, end-of-the-calendar-year surprise! As you have so cleverly guessed, we are rolling out the new and improved version of the last year's new and improved morale patch. An improved improved morale patch?
Exactly! The old velcro backing has been retained, but the shield shape has been streamlined for better aerodynamics.
That sounds excellent! But wait, I've noticed the crates were noticeably heavier than last year's. how are the patches streamlined if they're also heavier?
No, that's just the lead lining. The patches retain roughly the same size. The behind-the-scenes workings, however, have been significantly upgraded. I hear the production process uses only a quarter of agar base it used earlier.
What's agar?
It's a gelatin...the point is, we've made the whole process much more efficient. It uses less man-hours, less resources, and the patch itself has a much, much longer expected half-life.
That's excellent news, comrade Commissar! I'll be sure to grab one as soon as they're available! ...Uh, how do I grab one? Is the procedure the same as last year?
Sadly, budgetary constraints have forced us to extend our self-equipment program into the next year. I am, however, proud to say that some of the savings achieved through greater efficiency will be passed on to all comrades. You will soon be able to don your brand new morale patch, for a fraction of the cost of the last one. Not to mention the new emblem pattern will help comrades blend in during ops on Tanoa.
I wouldn't be so sure about that. Since we got the last batch of patches, one guy in my unit turned green.
Hahaha, comrade, I'm sure you are referring to "going green". It means someone-
No, I mean, since August, he's been steadily turning ever so slightly green. Literally.
Comrade, would you be so kind as to notify your unit that first thing tomorrow morning they are to attend a mandatory lecture on proper uniform maintenance and personal hygiene.
*****************************************************************************************************************
Actual info: We've ordered a new batch of morale patches, with a brand new Tanoa theme! We expect them to be arriving sometime around 2016-01-15. The size is 10x7,5, and they come with a velcro back. Each patch can be had in exchange for 5 units of whatever your preferred currency is (as long as it's USD, EUR or GBP), shipping included, and, as usual, all profits (if somehow there is any) go towards the Dacha whiskey budget maintennance of the K-IV Widowmaker.
All funds can be sent to the standard, server-fund@folkarps.com paypal account, along with a message to Prime Minister Netkev, who, as always, has our full support.
Of course not, comrade. "The winter holidays" are nothing but a consumerist ploy to drag people's attention away from the glory that is our Agrarian Utopia. Suggesting anything else would be counterrevolutionary talk!
Uh... of course, comrade Commissar. That's what I meant to say.
Exactly. On an entirely unrelated note: The Party has been hard at work preparing a special, end-of-the-calendar-year surprise! As you have so cleverly guessed, we are rolling out the new and improved version of the last year's new and improved morale patch. An improved improved morale patch?
Exactly! The old velcro backing has been retained, but the shield shape has been streamlined for better aerodynamics.
That sounds excellent! But wait, I've noticed the crates were noticeably heavier than last year's. how are the patches streamlined if they're also heavier?
No, that's just the lead lining. The patches retain roughly the same size. The behind-the-scenes workings, however, have been significantly upgraded. I hear the production process uses only a quarter of agar base it used earlier.
What's agar?
It's a gelatin...the point is, we've made the whole process much more efficient. It uses less man-hours, less resources, and the patch itself has a much, much longer expected half-life.
That's excellent news, comrade Commissar! I'll be sure to grab one as soon as they're available! ...Uh, how do I grab one? Is the procedure the same as last year?
Sadly, budgetary constraints have forced us to extend our self-equipment program into the next year. I am, however, proud to say that some of the savings achieved through greater efficiency will be passed on to all comrades. You will soon be able to don your brand new morale patch, for a fraction of the cost of the last one. Not to mention the new emblem pattern will help comrades blend in during ops on Tanoa.
I wouldn't be so sure about that. Since we got the last batch of patches, one guy in my unit turned green.
Hahaha, comrade, I'm sure you are referring to "going green". It means someone-
No, I mean, since August, he's been steadily turning ever so slightly green. Literally.
Comrade, would you be so kind as to notify your unit that first thing tomorrow morning they are to attend a mandatory lecture on proper uniform maintenance and personal hygiene.
*****************************************************************************************************************
Actual info: We've ordered a new batch of morale patches, with a brand new Tanoa theme! We expect them to be arriving sometime around 2016-01-15. The size is 10x7,5, and they come with a velcro back. Each patch can be had in exchange for 5 units of whatever your preferred currency is (as long as it's USD, EUR or GBP), shipping included, and, as usual, all profits (if somehow there is any) go towards the Dacha whiskey budget maintennance of the K-IV Widowmaker.
All funds can be sent to the standard, server-fund@folkarps.com paypal account, along with a message to Prime Minister Netkev, who, as always, has our full support.