2017 Morale Patch

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Posts: 401
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:28 am
Location: Hobbiton, The Shire

2017 Morale Patch

Post by Aqarius »

Good evening, Comrade! Why the long face?

Good evening, Comrade Commissar. I don't know, I guess I just have a long-

No, I mean, why are you all moping around the base lately? Even Burkhanov stopped whistling while fixing the AKs. What's gotten into you?

Well... It's just, the boys were kinda hoping there was gonna be a new patch for the holidays, and-

Comrade! Again with the whole "winter holidays" nonsense! Have you been listening to the propaganda the Americans are blasting again? All these "holidays" are just a consumerist ploy, and our Glorious Agrarian utopia needs exactly none of that!

I understand comrade.

...but if it'll stop you from moping, the Party officials have been working on a little something. And i just so happen to have on me a design preview.
FA-2017-patch.png (10.37 KiB) Viewed 73239 times

I knew it! I knew that's what you were doing on all those late nights there was music coming from the Dacha!

Uh... yes, exactly, that's... that's exactly what we were doing! Either way, this year, we were in close communication with several human rights organizations as mandated by the last ceasefire, and as such, we decided, this year, to think of those not lucky enough to live under the benevolence of the Party. Having this in view, we have decided to divert some of our equipment budget to those less fortunate.

Equipment budget? We have an equipment budget?

Well, not as such. Sadly, the embargo by the imperialist pig-dogs continues, and forces us to extend our self-equipment program. On the bright side, our tightly monitored adherence to the cooperation agreement with the humanitarians has borne fruit in a brand new mine detecting technology, which he have managed to seamlessly incorporate into the patch design.

A mine detecting patch? That's amazing!

Indeed it is, comrade. While wearing this patch, any comrade will be instantly notified the minute he steps on a mine. And not only that, but the notice will be relayed onto his entire platoon, or even wider, depending on the acoustics!

The Party never stops to amaze me. Happy New Year, comrade Commissar.

Happy New Year, comrade.

...Say, what's that noise?

...Aw, comrade Commissar, you even arranged for fireworks for the New Year's Eve!

We most certainly did not. And, as you are sure to recall, fireworks generally explode in the sky, not on our bunkers.
Sound the alarm. And get me my AK.

Actual info: A new year, and a new batch of patches. A Patch Batch, if you will, themed after the new LoW DLC. The patches have a diameter of roughly 6cm, and in many ways rip off pay homage to the original batch. Each patch can be had in exchange for 10 units of whatever your preferred currency is (as long as it's USD, EUR or GBP), shipping included. In a change to the usual formula, 50% of the proceeds go towards the Dacha whiskey budget maintenance of the K-IV Widowmaker, with the other 50% being donated to UNHCR.

All funds can be sent to the standard, server-fund@folkarps.com paypal account, along with a message to Prime Minister Netkev, who, as always, has our full support.

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